my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
