sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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