i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
