i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
