There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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