Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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