never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
