super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
