Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
