you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
