you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I need to calm my uterus...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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