I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
