when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
