I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
operation harelip BJ is a go
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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