The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
