my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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