I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
