that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
