the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
