I hate your face
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
