Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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