i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But theres a keg here and me gusta
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
