I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize