OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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