If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
