yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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