just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
