gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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