So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
