Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
