Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
