Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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