my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
