pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
