is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This is classic penis vs brain.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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