If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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