I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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