Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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