All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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