Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
