he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
