My nipple is on Facebook.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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