I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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