you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
