Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Quick, to the slutcave!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
