I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
