found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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