No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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