Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
