how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
