All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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