I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
