My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
