im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So apparently I’m into choking now
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
