is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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