Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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