Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
