just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
