i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
