I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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