return my video game
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
