For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
